It was a dark night. Real dark and night-time-ish. The city lights shone down like mayonnaise off the giant cheese hoagie of a city gone bad. I felt the cold breeze of a dark stare from just behind my right flank, and turned my head to see the dark damsel Octavia herself. Staring me in the eye like a predator about to catch her prey. And me without a Chris Hansen anywhere in town to rescue me and tell her to have a seat right over there.
I raised my eyebrow at the coal-maned diva with a coat the color of the grayest stormy sky, and knew in an instant what I had to do. It was anypony's guess as to whether I'd survive the night, but I had to do it.
I had to woo her with my bittersweet song. A siren melody of dubsteps, cold-hearted love, bittersweet melody, and above all else, LOTS OF WUBS. Hell, if I was good enough, maybe she'd even let me clean her dishes with them.